The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now.
1. 2008 was a great year for Queen Taylor Swift. She released her second album, Fearless, which immediately launched her into the spotlight…
2. And she received her first-ever Grammy nomination for Best New Artist.
3. But there are a lot of things she did in 2008 that new Taylor would definitely never, ever do.
4. Old Taylor loved to wear blue frosted eye shadow and what could ~possibly~ be lingerie to red-carpet events.
5. And said eye shadow made another appearance at the Grammys, this time paired with a full-on ballgown…
6. New Taylor certainly wouldn’t wear a ballgown to perform.
7. She also wouldn’t decide to go onstage in a cutout minidress and a fedora.
8. Or a hoodie and jeans.
9. Come on, Old Taylor.
10. New Taylor would never perform in the rain. Taylor performs in showers of glitter.
Because of course she does.
11. She wouldn’t pose like this backstage at Total Request Live, mostly because that show doesn’t exist any more.
12. She would never stand in the background, holding an envelope, while Rihanna took centre stage.
13. And she wouldn’t randomly take off her shoes while presenting at awards ceremonies.
14. It’s highly unlikely that new Taylor would be seen cuddling up to Miley Cyrus…
15. And she definitely wouldn’t be invited to Miley’s birthday party.
16. New Taylor doesn’t hit the red carpet in dresses that make it look like she’s heading off to prom…
2008 Taylor apparently had a real ~thing~ for strappy, metallic heels.
17. Or dresses that make her look like she’s about to quickly nip out of the office to grab lunch.
18. She no longer attends events in what looks like mermaid chainmail, with a slightly mismatching gold satin clutch.
19. And she no longer wears dresses with large frills or beaded halter necklines.