1. You’re likely to get branded by your seat belt as soon as you sit down in your car.
2. The temperature of your steering wheel ranges from “molten lava” to “surface of the sun.”
3. Even when you sit still, you start to sweat.
4. You remember that you’re not Michael Phelps.
5. Storms pop up and ruin your day in a matter of minutes.
6. Cockroaches suddenly grow to the size of a small car.
7. Forgetting to put sunscreen on your feet will lead to days of torture.
8. Your only option for a sporting event is to bake in a baseball stadium for 3 hours.
(Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)
9. Gas is so expensive that you need a second mortgage to fund your road trips.
(Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
10. Now that school is out, there are kids EVERYWHERE.
11. Running outside means risking your life.
12. Go anywhere near that wasp/yellow jacket/hornet and you will get stung within an inch of your life.
13. A subway station is like walking into an oven, and it’s torture to stand 6 inches from another sweaty, stinky person.
14. You can’t even say you hate summer without 10 people jumping on you to tell you how much they love this miserable time of year.
15. Your dark beer obsession will just have to wait for fall.
16. Sweating through all those summer weddings is never a pleasant experience.
17. Go ahead, forget your sunglasses just once and see what happens to your eyes.
18. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you camping is fun. Camping is not fun.
19. Leather seats taunt you, daring you to try to free yourself from their hot, sticky clutches.
20. More than any other time of year, summer is when you have to visit those tourist traps with the family.
21. Ever walked into an air-conditioned building while soaked in sweat? Isn’t that just the most fun?
22. Look who joins every outdoor summer party – every mosquito on the planet!
23. Good luck finishing your ice cream before it melts all over your arm.
24. Some years, you see the A/C repairman more often than your own kids.
25. OMG sand EVERYWHERE.
26. Your dog smells like it just walked out of a dumpster at all times.
27. Summer also means constant yard work in the oppressive heat.
28. Hot drinks are amazing. In the summer, you cannot have hot drinks.