When you’re facing a life event as major as a custody battle, it’s crucial to keep a hold of your emotions and to find ways to manage and reduce stress. Because stress is one of the most unhealthy and most harmful problems to have, it’s best to check in with yourself during times of hardship and remember to stay positive. A positive outcome is much more likely to occur if you have a positive and calm attitude.
One of the most stressful components of an upcoming custody battle is the fear of the unknown. While you might not know for certain what the outcome will be, you can still remain calm by remembering that no matter what the outcome is, your kids will always be in your life, and the future will bring unexpected happiness.
- Since divorce is extremely common, find someone to talk to and get advice from. Divorce that involves children is extremely common, which is why it shouldn’t be difficult for you to find a friend who can relate and give you some advice. It reduces your own stress to talk to someone who has been through this before and can calm your fears a little bit. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, there are tons of helpful books available on this topic.
- Keep detailed records of relevant events, conversations and documents. Organized record keeping of events, conversations, details and documents pertaining to your custody case will significantly reduce stress. This includes finding relevant photographs, witnesses, letters, and more. Feeling ready and organized for your hearing will help tame your anxious energy. You’re in a good position if you have a better recollection of events and better detailed documents than the other side. Focus your energy on becoming as prepared as possible, and that will distract you from your emotions a little bit.
- Get a good lawyer. Hiring a good lawyer will significantly reduce your stress. A mediator works with both sides, but a lawyer will just look out for you. Hiring a really great child custody attorney means you’ll have someone in your corner who is fighting for you, even during the times you don’t have the energy to fight for yourself. Hiring a lawyer also helps you pass the stress of lengthy negotiations onto the lawyer, and lawyers help you be prepared for court. Knowing the procedural parts of the hearing, and knowing what you need to do to be prepared, will make you less stressed and more likely to look good when you are actually in the courtroom.
- Remember that the courts have dealt with much more dramatic scenarios than yours. The courts have dealt with much worse scenarios than yours, involving serious criminal acts, violence, and much more drama than your case will include. You may be worried that your ex will attempt to make you look bad in court, but guess what – the judge has heard worse. It’s normal for an ex to air out your dirty laundry in front of a judge, which is why the judges tend to focus on your parenting style and your current disposition instead.
- Get enough sleep, exercise, meditate and eat right. Take care of your body so that you’re healthy and better able to take on this custody battle. Eat nutritious meals, and exercise to help release anxious energy. Mediate or relax in other ways, for example by taking a hot bath with calming incense burning or getting an aromatherapy massage. Sleep is the most important thing, especially since it’s sometimes quite difficult to fall asleep when something as major and looming as a custody battle is on your mind. Talk to a doctor if you can’t fall asleep, as there are methods and medications that can help with this.