4 Ways To Enjoy Being In Your Own Skin

Enjoying your own company and being comfortable in your own skin is a challenge, especially when you’ve suffered emotional abuse throughout your childhood or even as an adult. The more trauma you’ve experienced, the harder it seems to re-learn to love yourself. Although, the key is to generate self-worth that isn’t derived from the opinions of others.
Here are four ideas for engaging the gentle process of re-learning to love yourself and enjoy life:
1. Accept your limitations as part of life (and work to overcome them)
Every person on this planet experiences some kind of limitation; some more than others. Regardless, limitations aren’t a weakness; they’re just a natural part of life.
Embracing your limitations doesn’t mean you stop trying to overcome them and become resigned. The trick is to stop resisting your limitations and allow them to exist while you work on overcoming them.
It’s the resistance you want to focus on eliminating first, not the limitation. Emotional discomfort including anger, resentment, and fear, come from resistance to a limitation – not from the limitation itself. By reducing or eliminating your resistance to a limitation, you relieve yourself of the emotional pain that comes with it. Once you are no longer in a constant battle with how “things should be,” then you’re ready to strategize how to overcome your situation. Often, overcoming a limitation doesn’t eliminate the limitation but rather finds an effective workaround.
For example, say you experience a limitation that makes it hard to get around, so you don’t drive. It’s easy to get caught up in an emotional storm when you’re slowed down because you rely on other people for rides. It seems like you wouldn’t be upset if you could drive, but the upset really comes from your response to the situation. Once you can see things as they are without being mad about how they should be, you can find ways to work around the inconvenience of relying on others for rides. You don’t need to find a way to drive to overcome your limitations; you just need to figure out how to be more efficient.
2. Do small things that make you feel good about yourself
If you’re uncomfortable in your own skin, adapt small changes to your daily routine that make you feel good about yourself. For example, if you don’t feel comfortable in your clothes, don’t be afraid to use shapewear to enhance your curves and tuck in your tummy. Wearing shapewear as a base layer can make a huge difference when you’re pulling on a pair of jeans. They’ll button up easily, and you won’t feel self-conscious about how you look. When you feel good, your attitude will reflect that back into the world, and it will provide a feedback loop of positivity that will keep your chin up.
3. Make incremental changes to achieve long-term fitness goals
If you’re at war with your body, make small, incremental changes to achieve your long-term fitness goals. It’s easy to sit on your haunches and declare to the world that you don’t feel good enough to change, but waiting to feel good before you change isn’t an effective strategy; you’ll be waiting forever. You have to change first.
You don’t have to change all at once. Today, brainstorm your goals. Tomorrow, strategize a plan for meeting those goals. Each subsequent day, make one change that will get you closer to your goal. You’ll make it eventually, and it’s okay to take your time.
4. Focus on developing self-love
Psychology Today defines self-love as “a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.” The article goes on to explain the importance of self-love, “When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.”
Your ability to feel comfortable in your own skin begins with self-love. The stronger your self-love, the more freedom you’ll feel to enjoy life as you are in each moment. Your attention won’t be focused so much on where you think you fall short, but the purpose you feel you were meant to live.
Other people’s opinions are irrelevant
What others think about you is irrelevant. Live your life, not the life others expect or want you to live. Opportunities will pass and you may never get them back. Self-love starts and ends with living your authentic life.

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