Dating and relationships can be hard. Let’s face it. It’s one of the scariest things that you can go through. It seemed like you and him were getting closer, maybe even heading towards a relationship. You were talking every day, spending a lot of time together and otherwise having a great time. But, one day, that started to change. Not with anything monumental. Just little things like him taking an hour to get back to you when it used to take minutes. Really look hard at one question, why does he like me?
It’s tough as you likely had hope for more, and you feel so helpless, unsure what you did to cause this shift in energy or, worse, unsure what you can do to change it back. Sadly, the answer to both is, in most cases, nothing. It may turn out that it’s temporary and he’ll warm back up, but the odds are not in your favor. Regardless, the best thing that you can do is give him that space and not overreact or be clingy.
Yes, I know that following that advice is not easy. In fact, it may be among the hardest things that you ever do, especially if you have really started to fall for him. Dating is hard! It’s okay if the pressure becomes overwhelming and you crumble. Just make sure to do that in private, or you will ensure that what you had will not return. Doing so will also allow you to heal if he doesn’t return.
But why did he pull away?
With all of that said, you still want to know what happened. It’s difficult to say, but it’s likely for one of the following reasons.
If you truly want a relationship with him, this is the best possibility. It means that he’s deciding whether he sees you as a person to be in a relationship with. This could be because he’s overwhelmed by his feelings for you, but it could also be because he’s started to have doubts that he didn’t use to. Doubts could also rise for reasons that are not directly related to you. Perhaps something else happened in his life that made him realize that you don’t fit with his work aspirations or otherwise.
You’re Too Available
First, consider that if you’re more available than he is, that simply means that you care more than he does. Caring a lot is not necessarily a bad thing, but you want to be with somebody who cares the same as you. So, if you care so much that you’re the only one always available, and he uses that to become overly comfortable and to take advantage of you, that’s not a good thing, and you should consider leaving even if he doesn’t.
You’ve Always Been an Option
Being an option is also not necessarily bad as it gives an “almost” relationship a trial run to see if it’ll become the genuine thing. However, if it goes from you being an option to him pulling away, that’s almost always a sign that he has moved on, and you should too.
Regardless of the reasons, it’s important to do your best to not freak out. Dialing up how often you contact him or trying to convince him what an amazing relationship partner you’d be is not going to work. Honestly, there might be nothing that you can do, and there might have been nothing that you could have done. Give him space, and take some yourself.