Most of us love dogs. Some of us love our dogs a lot. And then there are those who have crossed the line from dog-lover to full- on crazy dog person.
Think you might be in the latter group? Consider the following human behaviors:
1. You have more than two canine companions.
Are you living with a pet or a pack? Of course, even those with singletons can be crazy dog people. But those of us with more than two are far more likely to fit the label.
2. You’ve referred to yourself as “alpha” without a hint of hipster irony.
Somebody’s gotta be the boss. If you’re living with a bunch of dogs, it had better be you.
3. You’re waging a constant war against dog hair.
Shed happens. Your specialized pet vacuum is your most prized possession. You keep a lint brush in the car. And all you want for Chanukah is this.
4. You’ve got a significant line item in your budget to cover dog supplies and care.
5. Everyone at the veterinarian’s office, from the receptionist to the techs to the guys who deliver the Science Diet, knows you (and your dogs) on sight. And they have your credit card on file.
“Yo, Monster! Is that you again? Someone get the muzzle!”
6. You spend time at work looking at dog videos.
Come on. You know you do. Why do you think your pop-ups and banners are all about cool rescue groups and pet supplies?
7. You have dozens of pictures of your dogs on your phone, but can’t seem to find any of your children.
You have to scroll through endless pictures of Koda sleeping, Puck running on the beach, and Rufus sneaking a lie-down on your partner’s favorite chair just to find the one out-of-focus shot you took of Taylor (you know, your human child) during his star turn as valedictorian. Oops.
8. You’ve Skyped your dog.
Crazy dog people will go to just about any length to avoid being separated from their furry friends, but when they must, they make sure they stay in touch.
9. Your significant other said “no more dogs” … and you brought home another dog.
If only he had seen that sweet face peeking through the bars at the shelter. But this is it; you promise… until next time.
10. You have at some point been forced to choose between a significant other and a dog.
And you chose the dog.